I’ve already gotten a few questions on how I kicked Trich. This post is for all of the ones looking for help. Now, I didn’t pull my eyelashes and eyebrows, but most of this will help you if you’re those kind of pullers.
- I kept my hands and mind busy at all times
How? I did hobbies. Photography, art, writing, even played video games, and I got REALLY good at it! I put my focus on that and only that of what I wanted to do. So go out, play sports, do a hobby, do something. Just keep your hands and mind busy!
- If you’re a hair puller, wear a headscarf/hats/berets/anything that covers your head
If you’re in school, and you’re going through this, try and get a Doctor’s note saying you have to wear a headscarf, show it to your Principal, and see if he/she allows you to wear it. Some schools allow it, some don’t. You won’t know if you try.
If you can’t wear them at school, try and wear them at home. You’re pretty much home the same amount of time you’re in school, so it’ll still help you.
If you’re not in school, you don’t have to worry about the Doctor’s note. Just wear it as long as you want.
Little tip: If you have something to cover your head, don’t be a plan jane about it. Get something colorful or something that you love! I wore a rainbow headscarf a lot, and I loved it!
- Keep journal and keep track of how much you pull or how long you’ve been pull-free
I myself didn’t do this much because I was ashamed of what I was doing, but after I got over it, I did keep track of how long I’ve gone without pulling. It helped so much.
- Talk to someone you trust completely, and make sure they are there for you when you need help
My fiance was there for me. He was so accepting to what I was going through, and helped me out. Everytime he saw my hand go towards my head, he would either ask me if my hand should be there, or just pull it away from my head. It did get annoying at first, but I knew he was doing it to help me.
- Try this exercise I did
I came up with this small hand exercise that was kinda fun, and it kept my hand busy.
Take your hands, just hold them up, the back of your hands towards you. Take your index finger on both hands and place them on the thumbs. Left on left, right on right. Don’t do tip to tip where the nails are touching. Do skin contact. Then pull the fingers away. Then take your middle finger, place it on the thumbs, just like the index. Do the same with the ring, then pinkie fingers. Then go in reverse. It doesn’t matter how fast or how many times you do it. Just do it as much as you want. I’ll try and make a small video of how it should look, but at the moment, I can’t :(
I hope these tips will help out some of you. If you have any questions at all, contact me either through this tumblr, or my main one: bluchu.tumblr.com
Now, cutting my hair that short at such a young age did a lot towards me. Name calling and rumors especially. Rumors went around that I was a lesbian. One even was that I did 3 girls in the bathroom during lunch (Which was too funny to be true.). Now, it didn’t bother me that much since it was partly true (with the 1st rumor, not the 2nd one!). I’m Pansexual, meaning I like a person for who they are, not what they are or what they have between the legs. Anyways, like I said, I didn’t care much about what people said about me or my sexuality. I do think it’s very dumb that since a girl has very short hair, they’re instantly labled a lesbian. Lesbians come in all shapes, sizes, and even hair styles.
Back on topic. The rumors stopped for a bit, but kept coming back from time to time from a person that just didn’t like me for some reason that’s still unknown to me.
Having short hair was actually kinda fun. I got to use a straightener for the first time. I have super thick and very curly hair, which I don’t like much, so I kept my hair straight most of the time.
Life was actually going my way for once!
Like I previously said, I made a big change right before I went back to school. What was it?
A hair cut
Now, a hair cut to some isn’t much of a change. But to me, it was.
I remember the day clearly. I was about a week before school started. I walked into my usual hair stylist. When I told her what I wanted to do, she kept asking if I was actually sure many, many times. And I kept replying that I did. Within about 30 minutes, it was over with.
I had hair to the midsection of my back. 10 & 1/2 inches of that was gone. A weight was pretty much lifted in many ways. For once, my hair was all the same length. I felt truly happy. Even happier than wearing the headscarves.
You have no idea how shocked people were. I’ve been around others that have known me for my long hair. And after I cut it, they thought I was going through some midlife crisis at the age of 15. I had to explain over and over that I just wanted to change. I didn’t care about repeating myself. I was just happy
Sorry if I haven’t really kept up with my tumblr. Been busy with my main tumblr, but as well as other things in real life. But my stories will continue on! :D
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Knowing that I didn’t want to go, my mom had an idea before I went back to school. She took me to many different stores with hats and bandannas. I looked and looked for hours, and still nothing I liked. Until we went to Earth Bound. I found head scarfs I could wear. They were beautiful and made me actually feel normal for once.
There was a problem though
At my school, hats, bandannas, and head scarfs weren’t allowed. So, it pretty much seemed liked I couldn’t hide my hair. Strangely, it wasn’t a problem. The Vice-Principal was a family friend, and we talked to him about my problem. He then said I could wear the head scarfs as long as I had a doctor’s note with me at all times, stating that I have to wear them. That made me so happy! I did get stopped by teachers a lot, telling me to take off my headscarf. I even had a few students rip it off of my head. It was tough, but after a while, people just ignored me wearing it and went on with life.
After that year, I took off my headscarf during the summer, and right before school started, I decided to make a big change.
So, after the whole thing with the Spanish exam, I started to see myself pull more and more of my hair. No consequences came to mind. That is until I went to the hair salon to get my monthly hair cut.
My hairstylist M—-y noticed that I was starting to get a bald patch on the right mid-section of my scalp. Not wanting to tell her what I’ve been doing, I quickly went, “Oh, I had a hair dying accident!” She went on saying that I should of came to her for that sort of thing. Luckily, she fixed my hair so that no one could see the patch.
That only worked for about a month.
The patch became bigger, more noticeable. It was getting harder and harder to hide behind every hairstyle I came up with. I even changed how my hair is suppose to part. But nothing could be done. Being at such a young age (15 by this time), I was exposed to kids that were my age, and being judgmental about anything that looked different, strange, and out of the ordinary. They noticed it quite fast. Faster than I thought, though. No one at first didn’t say a word, but about a few days after they saw, rumors started. Some said I shaved my hair just to get attention. Some said they’ve seen me pull my hair. But the one that stuck with me the most was that I had Cancer. No joke. That one hurt me the most. Mainly because people, including my own friends, believed them. Some even gave me presents to get well soon from a disease that I didn’t truly have when they should be saying that to the disease that I’m fighting.
This went on for many months. People asked me how chemo was going, if I was going to live, how long I was going to live. I even had people say “Hey, Miranda! When you die, can I have your [insert whatever random item they wished]?!” It was so horrible that I even skipped school just to avoid everyone.
I wish I could stay at home, hiding my head, but sadly, that dream would never come true.
The earliest memory that I have that it all started was when I was in 2nd grade (About 7 or so), and I was taking a test. My hand went up to my eyebrows, and began to pluck. At that age, I never questioned it, and I thought I was doing it because I was stressed in some way. A few weeks later, another test came. This time, it was my eye lashes. The same thought as previous came to my head. I just went on with my test afterwords.
After that year, I suddenly stopped. I thought it was just some phase. I was sadly mistaken when 7 years passed.
This episode, I remember very clearly. It was when I just turned 14. I was taking my Spanish exam and I was extremely nervous about how I would do. I sat there, getting more and more shaken by the whole thing.
My hand rose, and I asked if I could go the restroom. Quickly and in such a hurry, I power walked to the loo. Once I entered, I paced, wondering how I could try and pass the test. During this time, I wasn’t going through those certain things that relieved stress. Examples: Drugs, cutting yourself, cigarettes, and those sort of things.
My hands ran through my hair, I had my eyes shut tight, and then…YANK! A good 10 - 15 strands were in my hands. Now, people who pull that much would say, “That would hurt!”, but shockingly, it didn’t. I then pulled another, feeling no pain yet again. “Why don’t I feel a thing?”, I asked. I kept doing it and didn’t stop for about 5 minutes. Next thing I know, I have 2 huge wads of hair, one in each hand. At first, I had no emotion towards it. I just left the bathroom, and went back to my exam.
After that day, my life was a living hell.
Hello everyone. My name is Miranda. I’m 20 (about to be 21 on May 21st), and I have, well HAD, Trichotillomania. Now, you’re probably asking me, “What is Trichotillomania?” I’ll answer that for you. Trichotillomania, or Trich for short, is an impulsive disease that will make you pull out your hair from anywhere on your body. Head, eyebrows, eyelashes, arm hair, leg hair, you name it. The thing is a person that goes through this sometimes doesn’t know it happens until it’s too late. It’s like their hand takes control and does the work on it’s own. But people that go through Trichotillomania don’t just pull out a few strands of hair. No, they pull out clumps, wads, hairballs. Bald spots will show after time.
Now, most ask “Why can’t you stop?”. The thing is: It’s hard to stop. Very hard. It’s like an addiction. Once you start, you can’t stop.
And I will say now, no, it’s not out of stress or attention. Like I previously said: It’s an impulsive disease. In a way, like Tourette Syndrome. They can’t help how they act or do.
Now, why am I talking about this? Mainly so that I can share my story and tell others who are going through the same as I did, and help them out. It’s hard fighting this war, but it’s even harder fighting alone. Trust me.
I just have one request: The ones who are still fighting Trichotillomania, please message me. I do want to help. You can send an anonymous question if you have to. It’s fine. As long as you need help, help will be given for you.
